The Meaning of Life (It's a secret)

This blog is evidence that I've joined with everyone to be completely self-indulgent. The good news is that I couldn't do it quietly from the corner of my world, and I have instead decided to share it with the world (wide web to be exact). That means on a whim I have decided that I'm going to commit to writing these completely ranty paragraphs, which will ultimately lead to me forgetting about this blog entirely. I must be honest...I'm in transition (not in the gender sense), and I can't help but feel that my life has been caged and free at the same time. You see, I still can't answer the very simple question of who I am. This probably means I'm either normal or gay (who's the pioneer now). I'm writing after recently dropping Intermediate Accounting for the second time (ouch student loans), and I have finally reconciled to myself that I hate accounting. That's been something that I've been hiding from myself for 3 years. Now I've decided that I haven't ruined my life at 23 (who knew), and now I can go back to pretending that I know everything (another reason for this blog).

So here we are. I recently read the book East of Eden by Steinbeck and watched the movie with James Dean (gayer by the minute). I can't help myself when it comes to classic literature. I keep thinking that perhaps I could write a novel and become world famous. This stems from the problem that I'm a hopeless dreamer that has dreamed every dream, and they all involve me being world famous (self-indulgence again). I'm all ideas and no substance. I have the tendency to watch movies, tv shows, or read books and write my life into them. I keep hoping that there's some greater life that I haven't discovered. There's some alternate Cliff (my name) that is living all my dreams out. He's illusive. I can't seem to locate him. He's off living the alternate lives that I've created for myself. This blog among other actions is my attempt to find him. I can't say that there's some sort of method to what I want to write. I just want to write what I've seen, felt, laughed, hated, loved, smelled, and touched (oh the drama). I don't take myself seriously. Neither should you. Oh yeah...Read this. I believe it sums up East of Eden and life.

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." — Jaques (Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-166)

Good Night and Good Luck

P.S - If this is my only blog post ever...I do believe that was one hell of a ride. Most importantly, I'd like to thank you and the academy.